I’m someone who bottles things up till they a reach a limit and then often explode because I’ve waited too long. Call it middle-child conditioning, say its because I used to have red hair, blame my people pleasing nature, or the fact that I’m a Taurus with a Scorpio moon whatever you like, it’s just me. And this has often been a struggle for me in writing because I tend to rant first, POST, then overthink later.
I’m not saying I regret or don’t regret some of what I wrote, but if my goal is to become a better writer part of that training is learning that I can’t restrict how I truly feel about things. I also have to learn the fact that every idea doesn’t have to be shared/posted. If I aspire to be more clear in my communications then I have to remember that I am responsible for honing that message in a way that makes the reader feel respected but also as if I’m not attacking them directly.
Anger can tell you what matters, but revision helps you say it well.
If I’ve done my job and said what I meant and someone still disagrees, I can live with that. I can apologize if I’ve caused real harm. I can take the time to clarify what I meant and still stand by a belief I’ve thought through. That’s the difference I’m trying to learn: when to revise my words and when to trust them. People won’t always agree with what I say, even when I’ve chosen my words carefully. This country was founded on dissention and those who took risks with their words, but it continued because of the grace we used to allow each other when someone had an idea different than your own.
I’m learning to take aim before I fire, and in doing that I’m still not throwing away my shot.
