So I’ve had a really productive month. I’ve left my job as a librarian and have started working in customer service again. I will miss the job and patrons of course, but will always be connected to my library somehow so it doesn’t really feel like a loss.

I’m trying to establish a new “normal” for myself. Finding time to continue with writing, doing research and all the stuff that makes me want to be an author. To support that effort I decided that I would become more active in my online writing groups. A lot of time it’s simple requests to read someone else’s rough draft, or to give an opinion on an action plan someone is thinking of taking. You know general stuff, offering support when its asked for.

For the last 4 weeks I’ve really committed my Saturday mornings to this task. Saturday mornings were always easy when we were kids. Grab your favorite bowl of cereal, yell at your brother for taking your favorite spoon, and watch Bugs Bunny, Hong Kong Phooey and Captain Caveman. You’re good to go. I wish it was that easy now that I’m older.

I get up about 5:30 am and I jump on the social sites and start scrolling through whatever may have been posted in the last week. I have midmorning online classes so I have to get in and out fast. Sometimes you see a lot of repeat questions like, “What inspires you to write?”, or “Do you really care how the reader feels about what you write?”, and other topics like that. I’ve reached the point where its asked so often that I’m come up with my typical responses and saved them so I can just copy and past them into the comments, rather than typing the same thing over and over again.

While I’ll probably feature my typical responses in an upcoming blog, I did want to note one that is really important and at the same time kind of frightening at the number of times I see it being asked by other authors. I answered the same variation on this question 5 different times in 2 hours:

“How do you know when you are ready to give up? Not just on writing, but on everything? Especially your life?”

It continues to amaze me how many times I see this same question posted by all types of authors, all over the world, whether during the day or night. It’s a constant reminder that at any point somewhere, someone is thinking of making the ultimate decision about ending their own life. It’s scary, it’s common, and it’s really scary how common it continues to be.

So this is the answer I share with others, copying and pasting it at least 5 times this morning alone:

“I’ve watched many friends and family members suffer physically and mentally in horrible ways that made them consider taking their own lives. I understand your question. I’m a big advocate for right to die. But I also believe if you are reaching out to ask the question, talking to others about doing something, then you aren’t ready to let go yet. Your actions, not your words, tell me that you want to live.

Seek help, call a friend or anyone you trust, call a hotline or see a doctor. Take the meds they offer, drink water every time you have “those” thoughts, light a candle and take 10 deep breaths, check yourself into a facility and let someone care for you like you’re not able to. Just please wait five more minutes, and then after that wait another five more minutes.

As writers we are born/cursed with incredibly deep feelings that can sometimes lie to us. Understand that and keep reaching out. Blessings.” 🙏💙

A depressing thing to think about I know, but I feel that if in the middle of all that darkness they had the strength to send that message into the Internet bottle, then someone MUST answer them back. We can’t continue to scroll past the parts of life we don’t understand, relate to, or make us uncomfortable.

Maybe my method of copy and paste is too simple, maybe the words are wrong, maybe I’d do better to alert Facebook to their comments, but I think my method proves that they are being heard across that void and that they are not alone in their feelings.

Five has always been my magic number, favorite number, lucky, whatever you want to call it. Once I’ve copied that message five times, I have to get offline. I can’t take it anymore, it becomes too painful to think about. At least I can justify to myself that I tried helping five times today. I tried reaching out and connecting with five people in need. That’s it, that’s the best I can do.

So today I’d ask you, how do you spend your Saturdays and what’s your magic number?